Last time in this series I covered driving, Britishness, and new nouns. Today I'll take a swinging leap into sinks, accents, confusing sidewalk encounters, and on of the world's least consistent measuring systems. Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to have a proper good time.
If A Car Weighs 200 stone and is driving for 15 kilometers getting 35 MPG...
Imagine a country where you measure weight with stones (but sometimes kilograms), measure distance by the mile (but sometimes kilometers), sell gas by the liter (but never the gallon), and then measure your fuel efficiency in miles per gallon. Yep, the UK has done the impossible: somehow use a more confusing system of measurement than the US. Bravo my friends.
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| Come on man, it's only 1 stone... |
And to think, I even had my pounds to kilograms all worked out. But nope, it's normal in most parts of the UK to talk about your body weight in stone. Did not see that one coming. Rocked me to the core, if you will. The Math: 1 stone equals 14 pounds, or 6.35kg. Example: Just birthed a seven pound baby? Well, it's a healthy 1/2 stone.
Honestly though, I love the stone measuring system. It's like it's from a different age... And, my perceived weight can depend on what I define as a stone. Want to feel big and strong for MMA class? 1 stone is a boulder. I weigh 13 1/4 boulders. Need to slim down a bit for a run? Eh, 1 stone is like a piece of gravel. I can practically float across the pavement.
As for the others, I find the miles per gallon/gas sold by the litre thing to be a bit perplexing. Imagine if we tried the opposite in the states.... "My car get's 15 miles per liter!"... ummm, are you speaking in soda?
Scalding or Ice Cold?
Ever been punished for wanting to wash your hands? Well, it's a common occurrence in some British sinks. In my flat in particular, our bathroom sink looks like this:
- Twist the blue handle? Freezing Hands.
- Twist the red? Hands on Fire.
No, You Can't Actually Do a British Accent
Throughout my life I have heard a lot of American friends try to imitate English/Scottish/Irish accents. Some I even thought sounded convincing, almost dead-on. I was wrong.
In reality, I've found that it's impossible to imitate a British accent, because a single British accent doesn't exist. Seriously. Oh they have accents here, in fact I couldn't image a more accent rich place in the word. But which one specifically are you trying to imitate? Is is the Sheffield accent or the Leeds accent (these cities are only 45 minutes apart). Is it a posh London accent, or a Cockney London accent? Is it a Scottish accent from Glasgow, or from Edinburgh? Are you trying to speak the Queen's English? Pssh, no one actually talks like that. See how hard this is? Here are two examples: This is the Norfolk Accent , and these are the accents in Yorkshire.
This is so strange to me, coming from a region in the states where I'd need to take a 15 hour+ road trip to get to a place with a different accent (and that's if you count the California Valley Girl accent).
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| 1000's of miles separate the US's Best State from any other accent. |
So go ahead, try to master an accent from the UK. But you actually need to pick a specific region, down to the postcode.
Awkward Sidewalk Interactions
I spend a lot of time thinking about how to walk down the sidewalk. Definitely more than the average person. These thoughts always coalesce around the same simple decision: "If I meet someone coming from the opposite direction, which way do I go?"
It's the classic sidewalk choice. You are walking down a street. Casually, you notice you and friendly stranger are set for a head on sidewalk collision. Is the US, this is simple. I move to my right, they move to their right, and we pass without notice. In Australia, since people drive on the left, they move to their left. Easy peasy.
So how about the UK? Let's look at a real life example. Here I am at London Liverpool Street Train Station. Looking one direction, people are "going to the left" to use the stairs. Perfect. People in the UK go to the left. But what's this? Looking in the opposite direction from the exact same vantage point, people are staying to their right.
That's correct, people are actually crossing over and switching sides halfway through their walk to/from station! This held for the five minutes I watched people walk by.
Of course, everyone from the UK knows which way to walk. Awkward sidewalk interactions are only the cause of people such as myself who don't know the system. Said a friend, "No, there is no rule, you just kind of figure it out." Really? Figure it out? **Sigh** I feel like I'm trying to not get burned by my sink all over again...
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Expect a third round of UK wonder sometime in the New Year.
Much love from the UK,
Kurt
This is not an official US Department of State website or blog. The views and information presented in this post are my own and do not represent the Fulbright Programme or the US Department of State.